Final Exams & Championships

Around this time of year, back when I used to teach chemistry, I would watch students as they took the final exam. Not uncommonly I would end up watching some deserving student, who had applied themselves, but was still having problems in the class, struggle to pass the exam. I would find myself tensing my abdominal muscles, trying to ‘help’ that student pass the exam with the force of my will alone. Maybe you have had a similar experience watching a favorite team on the verge of winning a tournament; if they can just make that touchdown, penalty kick, free throw, they will win. And we are sitting there every muscle tensed wanting that win for them, for us.

What is going on in these scenarios? With the student taking the exam, I am essentially wishing to control the outcome, wishing to control the world outside myself. I tense my muscles willing a specific result for something outside my control. I want a specific outcome, but since its outside my control I pointlessly tense muscles in my body. This muscle tension is essentially stress.

Once you become aware of it, you may realize there is an underlying tension in many circumstances. This feeling of tension is a direct result to trying to control outcomes, especially when it is for things outside our control. How can we begin to release this tension and find more relaxation? How can we become less attached to the outcome and accept the fact that we will be just fine no matter what happens?

Meditation helps us find more acceptance with what is and helps us have faith that we will be OK no matter what. We experience our true nature twice a day in our meditation; that part of ourselves that is invincible, never ending, eminently lovable and loving, never cold, hungry, lonely, or alone. We know that this part of ourselves will be OK even if the disappointment is more serious than our favorite team losing. The relevance of our true nature is not dependent on the outcome of any specific event or outcome.

As meditation has become a normal part of my life, I have noticed that life has a certain texture, a certain smoothness or roughness. I have noticed that the more I accept what is and am willing to let things be what they are, and trust that I am in fact OK no matter what, the smoother things feel. And in fact, I have found that the smoothness of letting things be is more delicious than any outcome I could have ever wished for in the first place.

So, as you greet each day with its many choices, disappointments and expectations see if you can let go, just a little, of trying to control the results and see how it feels. You may be surprised at how good it can feel.

And, don’t forget to dip into your twice daily meditation to recharge and replenish that sense of wholeness that we are lucky enough to visit each day.