Letting Go:Control and Resistance in Meditation

Sometimes we have a meditation that is filled with thoughts. It feels not as restful and not as ‘deep’. Is this something to be concerned about?

This all comes down to the concepts of control, resistance and letting go. These topics are useful to discuss, as they relate to both our eyes-closed state and our eyes-open state. When unpleasant things happen or pleasant things don’t happen in our day-to-day lives, our general tendency can be to react and push against whatever is happening. We can become angry or try to control the source of the unpleasantness. So, it is not surprising that we can have similar reactions to a meditation that we feel has ‘gone wrong’.

One of the most valuable things we learn in our meditation practice is how to let go. In the 4-day course we learn to let go of the mantra. The mantra naturally becomes fainter and fainter as we repeat it. This is the nature of the mantra. It becomes more and more subtle until it slips away completely. That is the superpower of the mantra; its ability to slip away as we repeat it. As the mantra becomes more subtle, more faint, let it go. It’s OK to forget to repeat it. It’s OK to not remember to say it. It’s OK to let it slip away completely. When it becomes very faint, let it go. This is learning to let go.

We have been taught since we were very small children the importance of remembering to do things and remembering to remember things. Now we are learning to forget; intentional forgetting. Learning to let go of remembering.

In our meditation we are also learning to let go of our desire to control the outcome. We let go of attachment to the quality of our eyes-closed state, knowing that we are gaining the benefits the body needs in this particular sitting. Are we having a thought-filled meditation? Excellent, that means I am releasing stored stress. Thoughts are a normal part of meditation. Do not try to resist thoughts. Even 30-year meditators have thoughts during their meditations. When stress is released, thoughts are produced. If you are having thoughts in meditation that means you are doing it right. We are releasing stress and rejuvenating the body even in our most thought-filled meditations. If we have a ‘deep’ meditation with very few thoughts, excellent. We are enjoying some deep rest. This is what the body needed. We try to learn to not judge our meditations, and instead understand that if we had a thought-filled meditation that is what our body needed, to let go of some deep-seated stress.

We have also been taught since we were small children that we should try to be better, faster, smarter. We should be dutiful and diligent. Meditation helps us let go of all this trying. We are learning to let go of perfectionism and take it as it comes.

 In fact, the tendency to ‘go deep’ in a meditation is directly opposed to trying to meditate. So, if we are trying to meditate this is not going to work very well. The solution is stop trying, let go. The effort of trying is just that, effort. Effort leads to an elevation of the metabolic rate and that leads to the body and mind not relaxing completely. And the mind will not achieve its least excited state under these circumstances. Similarly, if we insist on repeating the mantra diligently, if we resist the mantra’s natural tendency to fade away, if we repeat it like a pile driver, or a jack hammer (yes, that was me! I did that!), the mantra does not have a chance to do what it does best, slip away. But if we let the mantra slip away, let the meditation be what it will be, and let go of expectations the mantra is freed to do its work. We have thought-filled meditations interspersed with deep yummy meditations. The stress is released and the body is rejuvenated.

So like this, we are learn to let go in meditation. And as we learn this in our eyes-closed state, we begin to learn to let go of issues, outcomes and timings in our day to day lives. We learn to let go of trying to control our relationships with loved ones, and let them grow and evolve with love. As we let ourselves also grow and evolve with love and compassion for our less than perfect selves.

Have you noticed meditation habits that have started to spill over into your waking state? What things can you think of that you have let go of recently that would have been a ‘big deal’ earlier in your life?

If you’re already a meditator let me know how I can help support your practice. If you are not a meditator yet, contact me to begin your own rapid evolution to self-sufficiency.